some recent excerpts:
Today, I discovered that my 15 year old girl had hidden a disgusting porn film in the "future career" folder. FML
Today, I was babysitting for a new family. While the father was telling me about bed times and how to reach him, their dog started humping my leg. As I tried to discretely push the dog away, his paw got caught in the pocket of my huge sweatpants, pulling them down. I was wearing a thong. FML
Today, I decided to eat at this new cafe near my apartment. When I sat down a super flamboyant waiter came up to me and asked for my order. I asked him what he recommended. He said "to be honest honey, you could go for the salad." I just got out of an eating disorders rehab and put on 30 pounds. FML
Today I was at my job as a shift manager at a fast food restaurant. Our company policy states that all employees must be clean shaven before coming to work. My boss told me that I had to inform one of the employees, Kris, that they had to shave before they could clock in. Kris is a woman. FML
now youre in the know!